Getting a divorce can be very unsettling. When you get married, you thought it would be forever. Coming to terms that this isn't the case may leave you with many mixed and powerful emotions. However, it is crucial for your case's success and your own well-being to know how to control your emotions during the divorce proceedings, in and outside of the court.
Remain Neutral Outside of Court Proceedings
You need to control your emotions outside of court so that you do not give your soon-to-be-ex and their lawyer any fuel to use against you in court. Some of the things people say to each other may actually cause them to lose what they are seeking in the divorce. For this reason, you have to appear rational and reasonable, even when you'd rather be seething, crying, and screaming instead.
One way to do this is to find time to cry. After the children go to bed, find time for yourself to let go of your anger and sadness. Take a moment to just let it out of your system. Another approach is to write down a moment to moment account of your day and what you felt. Writing out your emotions by journaling can help you release the negative feelings you have. Finally, exercise helps release the intense tension you are feeling by trying to control your emotions. Exercise can elevate your mood and help you maintain a sense of calm in a stressful time.
Finally, you may want to see a therapist. A therapist can help you begin to work through the depression, the anger, the disappointment, the hurt, and the rollercoaster of other emotions you are currently feeling. In return, you will begin the healing process of learning how to move on from your divorce.
How to Remain Calm in Court
Being emotional in court does not win you any points with the judge. If anything, crying, wringing your hands, yelling, trying to be heard over your ex's statements or over your ex's lawyer will only agitate and distract the judge. It will reflect poorly on you and make you seem immature and unable to manage yourself, much less yourself and any children of and for whom you seek custody.
To manage your emotions in court, let your lawyer do all of the talking. If something is said that you completely disagree with, you are allowed to ask your lawyer to give you an "aside", or the ability to speak to your lawyer privately for a second. If more than one thing is bothering you about how things are going or something the other party is saying, write down some notes to show your lawyer when there's a pause in the hearing.
It will be intense and challenging, no doubt, but maintaining silence and control in the courtroom is vital to how your case plays out. There will be time to feel everything when you leave the courtroom.
Contact a California Divorce Lawyer Today
Because of how emotional the divorce process can be, it's essential to work with a skilled attorney to assist you. Navigating the way you feel while taking on your case can lead to you making rash decisions that are not in your best interest.
Our divorce lawyer at Law Offices of Michael D. Iverson, APC is here to help provide you with the information you need to make sound decisions in your divorce. We will always guide you through each and every step of the divorce process to ensure your rights and interests are protected.
If you are in need of a divorce lawyer in Murietta, CA, call Law Offices of Michael D. Iverson, APC at (951) 418-2770 to discuss your case.