For divorced parents, getting along with their ex can be a challenging and unpleasant process. However, every child deserves to have parents that are willing to co-parent together. Here are some guidelines to make the transition of divorce as your family adjusts to this new structure easier for you and your children.
1. Treat Co-Parenting Like a Business
Try thinking of co-parenting with your ex as a business transaction. Business relationships are formed because each person has a mutual goal, just like co-parenting. Viewing your co-parenting relationship through this lens can ensure you work towards that common goal - putting your child's needs and best interests first.
Similar to a business, you should consider implementing the following while co-parenting:
- Have direct and up-front communication
- Appointments are scheduled
- Meetings take place and have an agenda
- Discussions are focused on the topic at hand
- Everyone is polite
- Agreements are clear, concise, explicit, and written down
Remember, you don't have to like the people you do business with, but you have to put aside any negative feelings you have to get the work done.
2. Make Transitions a Smooth Process for Everyone
The transition between homes can be difficult not only for the kids but parents as well. You can prevent unnecessary stress by ensuring your child is clean, fed, has all of their belongings packed and ready to go for when it is time to exchange custody.
Confirm the time, date, and pickup place ahead of time so that you both know exactly when and where to meet. During the switch, remember to be on time and be courteous with the other parent. You never want to put your child in an uncomfortable position where they are forced to watch their parents fighting with each other.
3. Remember What's Important - Your Children
Your child's well-being should be you and your co-parent's number one focus. As you make any decision, keep your child's best interests front and center. It may be difficult to do, but don't put your children in the middle of your problems with your ex-spouse.
Your kids deserve to have a loving relationship with both you and their other parent. Don't do anything to jeopardize their relationship with the other parent. For example, you should never:
- Speak badly about your child's other parent
- Use your child as the messenger to correspond with your ex
- Make your child feel like they have to choose between parents
Divorce doesn't have to destroy. Children shouldn't have to lose any sense of closeness with either parent just because they are no longer living in the same household. Through a successful co-parenting relationship, you can help your child cope with the transition of divorce while providing them with the same love and care they deserve.
Facing a child custody issue? Call Law Offices of Michael D. Iverson, APC today at (951) 418-2770 to discuss your case with our Murrieta child custody attorney.